


Keeping it Casual

by tangiblewhimsy



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Aiba Exchange 2015, Aiba deserves good things, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, FWB Gone Wrong AU, Jun has no emotional awareness, M/M, Nino is the best bro, Oral Sex, There's probably a lot more to this universe I will never explore, mentions of protected sex, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-17 06:16:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5857324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangiblewhimsy/pseuds/tangiblewhimsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aiba and Jun accidentally fall into a friends-with-benefits arrangement after meeting at a party. As time goes on, however, Aiba catches feels and is stuck having to figure out whether or not he can push them aside so he doesn't ruin a good thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keeping it Casual

**Author's Note:**

  * For [astrangerenters](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangerenters/gifts).



> **Warnings:** Some angst, some sexy times, some general tomfoolery. No kink, no violence, no deaths. Both protected and unprotected sex at different points.

Generally speaking, Aiba remembers to turn his alarm off if he knows it's going to be a bad morning for blaring electronic twittering from his phone. Admittedly this can get him in trouble, because he doesn't always remember to set an alternate alarm (leading to accidental oversleeping), but at the very least it prevents the aggravation of any alcohol-induced headaches that may or may not have been brewing in his poor brain. Unfortunately, he had been a bit, uh, _distracted_ the previous night, and so the early morning signal blared from his phone with piercing efficacy.

Waking with a start, Aiba didn't even wait for the ability to fully open his eyes before he started fumbling around for his phone. He discovered with a mounting sense of embarrassment and anxiety that it wasn't on his nightstand where he normally left it and slipped halfway off the bed in a blind search for his pants. Eventually his hands happened upon the slacks from last night, snatching them up by the cuff and extracting his phone to finally stop the alarm.

Heart pounding from the unpleasant waking, Aiba grimaced as he listened to the deafening silence of the room around him. He expected some swearing and growling, and he expected to have to apologize for it. Pulling himself back up onto the bed carefully, however, he found his companion from the night before still asleep. A deep crease in the striking brows indicated that he'd definitely heard the ruckus of the alarm, but otherwise the man appeared determined to continue sleeping.

Aiba could respect that.

While he was tempted to crawl back into bed and sleep some more himself, Aiba knew that between the alarm and the frantic moving of his body he was definitely awake for the moment. Rubbing at his eyes groggily, he started the search for his underwear, finding them flung across the corner of his desk near the door. A little embarrassed but also kind of impressed, Aiba pulled them down and put them on, and with a yawn he made his way out into the apartment.

The first order of business was setting coffee to brew, but immediately after that came water and painkillers. His head actually felt okay, but the rest of his body ached from a combination of what was apparently cheap liquor from his drinks at the party and the various activities involved in his own 'after party'. Leaning against the counter, Aiba sipped at his water steadily as he scrolled through his messages and emails. He tapped out quick responses to a few work memos and flagged other important ones that would require more attention for later in the day. Beside him the coffee maker beeped at him and Aiba stood up to stretch and sigh before grabbing a pair of mugs from the cupboard.

As Aiba balanced a mug of hot coffee, a glass of water, and some medicine in his hands, he wondered if maybe he shouldn't have stopped to get a tray first. As he crossed the threshold into his bedroom, however, he figured that it was too late to turn back and prayed that he didn't trip over any clothing on his way to the nightstand. Although as he got closer to the bed Aiba couldn't help stopping short and giving an involuntary giggle in surprise.

Dark eyes pulled away from the glow of a cell phone screen and snapped to him immediately in a sharp glare, which caused Aiba to duck his head apologetically. The expression was bristling, full of the promise of some kind of swift and painful action if Aiba made the wrong move. It was kind of hilarious, however, considering the man in his bed was (as far as Aiba could tell) still naked and had a gravity-defying cow-lick causing hair to splay out from the side of his head. Aiba couldn't help being partially amused, but also a little annoyed at the expression. This was _his_ bedroom, after all! He was allowed to walk into it unannounced.

Aiba's own flash of defensiveness softened when the gaze fell to the cups in his hands and the warning in them turned to intense want.

"Coffee?" Aiba offered, unable to suppress a grin as he offered the beverage.

There was a pause before the man in his bed began to shift and Aiba ventured closer to unburden himself at the nightstand.

"I wasn't sure how you take it so I just left it black," Aiba explained needlessly, trying not to stand awkwardly and stare as his guest slowly drank coffee in his bed. He wasn't any stranger to hookups, but Aiba was far from being an expert in the morning-after game. It was especially uncomfortable because Aiba was starting to realize with no small amount of horror that he was having trouble remembering the guy's name.

Thankfully Aiba was saved from trying to remember right that instant as his guest mumbled a sleep-heavy, "Black is fine," before taking a deep drink. Once the mug was out of his hands, Aiba shifted about the room to start collecting his own clothing that had been strewn across the floor.

"Hey, do you want some toast?" Aiba asked as he dropped his clothes on top of the overflowing hamper behind his door.

"What?"

Aiba looked up and paused, sucking on his lips to try and avoid laughing. The man in his bed seemed barely coherent, with sex-tangled hair and bleary vision squinting over the rim of a coffee mug. He was adorable and squishy and Aiba honestly kind of wanted to crawl back into bed with him and pet him until he woke up properly. Somehow, though, that seemed like it might be out of line for the moment.

"Toast," Aiba offered again gently, picking up a pair of tight pants that were most definitely not his and laying them on the bed with his guest. "I was going to make some, you're free to join me."

"Thanks..." The man nodded, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name."

The tension in Aiba's shoulders eased with relief at the admission and he even laughed, reaching out to pat his guest on the back.

"Aiba Masaki, nice to meet you," Aiba grinned.

"Nice to meet you," the man mumbled back, hugging his coffee tightly and taking another deep sip. Swallowing slowly, he sighed as the hot liquid eased its way down his throat before opening his eyes and looking up at Aiba with a nod. "I'm Matsumoto Jun."

"Well, Matsumoto Jun, when you feel like you can manage it, I'll have toast ready out in the kitchen, alright?" Aiba offered with a smile. The deadpan stare he got in return in all likelihood should have made him wilt, but instead all Aiba could do was giggle. He was starting to think that Matsumoto Jun probably wasn't much of a morning person.

Even with the sluggishness Jun seemed to exhibit while sipping on his coffee, it wasn't long before he joined Aiba in the main body of the apartment. They didn't talk much as they ate, instead concentrating on sipping down a second round of coffee and a few slices of toast and jam each. Aiba collected the plates and mugs from the counter and shifted them to the sink where he gave them a quick rinse, but he didn't want to spend too much time on dishes at the moment since he could already see Jun making his way toward the door in his peripheral vision.

"Hey, so, uh..." Aiba said as he wiped his damp hands on his boxers distractedly. "Last night was fun. Do you want my number and maybe we can do it again sometime?"

Jun's expression was neutral but his body was stiff and tense. Aiba tried not to grimace on instinct, getting his answer loud and clear even without any words.

"I'm not looking for a relationship right now," Jun said, diplomatic but firm.

It took Aiba a moment before he released the breath he'd been holding and actually laughed. He bowed his head apologetically as Jun's neutral expression turned to confusion (and maybe some annoyance), but he let himself get it out before trying to catch his breath. Waving a hand and shaking his head Aiba decided to try again.

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to laugh, but you were just so... _serious_ ," Aiba grinned as he stepped forward, a hand on his belly as a result of the laughter. He didn't miss the way Jun's eyes flicked to his hand, only encouraging him to try again. "I'm not looking for a boyfriend or anything. It's just that I thought we had some good chemistry."

"Is that right?" Jun asked as he dragged his gaze up Aiba's torso slowly, finally meeting his eyes. He shifted, relaxing as he turned to face Aiba more easily. Aiba accepted the opportunity and continued to approach, enjoying the way Jun stood firm as Aiba invaded his space, coming close enough that Aiba could feel the warmth of Jun's body through his clothing.

"Yeah," Aiba nodded, letting the tip of his nose graze Jun's cheek.

Whatever smooth smugness Aiba had been feeling at his sexy approach broke as he nearly toppled over when Jun dragged him down into the genkan for the kiss he'd been teased with. Even so, it was hard to feel too bad when the end result was a hot guy plugging his name and number in Aiba's phone after a post-breakfast romp on the living room couch.

~*~

"Well, at least one of us got laid," Nino hummed as he rested his elbows on the workbench of the wet lab station Aiba was setting up.

Aiba's eyes widened and he looked around quickly to make sure that they were alone before turning back to his friend and giving him a light smack on the arm. Nino returned the smack with a shove and stuck out his tongue for good measure, only causing Aiba to snicker as he shook his head and turned back to the task at hand.

"I'd feel betrayed if it weren't for the fact that I got a look at the guy before the pair of you slipped out the side door," Nino said with an approving eyebrow wiggle. "Although really, pleather pants?"

"I'm pretty sure they were real leather," Aiba said primly, although he shot Nino a wicked grin before turning back to focusing his microscope.

"Kinky," Nino hummed, picking up a plastic pipette and tapping it rhythmically against the edge of the workbench. "Alright, since you ditched me, you gotta dish."

"I'm not really sure what there is to tell," Aiba said with a shrug, his ears starting to turn pink.

He wasn't afraid of talking sex with friends, but usually the workplace was not his preferred location of disclosure. Even so, they were generally alone in the wet lab and today seemed to be no exception. Adjusting his glasses, Aiba finally sat back on his stool and tried to think.

"He's hot, so there's that. He's also kind of cute in a grumpy sort of way," Aiba shrugged.

Nino snorted and shook his head. "Only you would find that attractive."

"It's why we're friends, isn't it?" Aiba countered with a smirk.

"Touché," Nino nodded.

"He's also got pretty impressive stamina. Once before we made it out of the party, twice once we got back to my place, and once more before he left his morning," Aiba counted out on his hand. Nino whistled and nodded, reaching out to pat Aiba on the shoulder.

"Nice catch! So are you going to see him again?"

Aiba couldn't help puffing up his chest proudly at the question.

"He needed a bit of persuading, but yeah, I think I made it worth his while to give it another go."

Rather than be impressed, Nino gave a shrug.

"Careful with those standoffish types. If you gotta convince them they want a relationship, they usually really don't want one."

"Thanks for the advice, Love Doctor," Aiba laughed. "But it's not a relationship. He's got a cute ass, that's all."

"Mm, well," Nino hummed as he hopped off of his stool. "If you ever see that cute ass again you should take a photo and send it to me. I don't seem to be having luck in that department as of late."

"If I ever hear from him again, I'll be sure to let you know," Aiba promised with a giggle, returning his friend's peace sign before getting back to work.

While it would be nice to see such a hot guy again in the future, Aiba honestly wasn't about to hold his breath.

~*~

Jun swiped his fingers up under his chin, catching the last of Aiba's release before slipping his fingers back into his mouth to suck them clean. Aiba moaned at the sight, his cock giving an appreciative twitch against Jun's cheek. Breathing out heavily, Aiba relaxed back against the hotel mattress and ran a hand through his hair, grinning at the ceiling as the heavy sensation of orgasm spread through him.

"You are very good at that," he complimented as Jun joined him up on the bed. Beside him Jun snorted loudly, laughing through his nose as he rolled onto his stomach so that he could face Aiba while they both relaxed.

"Thanks, I guess. One of the benefits of having a big mouth," Jun joked, although Aiba could sense a genuine amount of pride in the skill. While some people might find that sexy (and Aiba could admit that it was), right now, on Jun's face, it was really just kind of adorable.

"Mm... It's a very good mouth," Aiba said, laughing even as the sentence left him.

"Although I've got a question for you," Jun said as he pushed himself up onto his side, propping his head up on one hand. "You taste uncommonly good. What is up with that?"

Aiba's face burned pink and he burst into giggles, but he had to admit that he was glad Jun had noticed.

"Sweet fruit juice," Aiba said. "Some of the primary components of, you know, semen, are citric acid and fructose. It's why I always order a Piña Colada when we're out."

Jun stared.

"How do you even know that?" he asked in amazement and Aiba sputtered into giggles again and gave a shrug.

"It's just, you know, chemistry. And also a bit of courtesy. If I want someone to swallow I should at least make it tasty, right?" Aiba mentioned, although explaining his reasoning to someone for the first time since college made him feel a little shy about it.

"Wait, so you're _actually_ a chemist?" Jun asked, his jaw hanging slightly agape.

Seeing Jun's expression, Aiba laughed in spite of himself and shook his head.

"Not a chemist, no," he said, amused at the way Jun seemed to recover from his shock. Which only made it better when he continued, "I'm a microbiologist, though. I work in the immunology lab at JK Pharmaceuticals."

Jun actually sat up on the bed as he seemed to process the information. Aiba threw his head back and laughed, reaching out to nudge Jun's knee.

"I'm more than just a pretty face, you know!" Aiba defended himself playfully, finally pulling himself up to start gathering his clothing. His underwear and slacks were easily accessible at the edge of the bed and he'd managed not to let his shirt get wrinkled in the time it'd been on the floor, too.

"I know that. You've also got a great ass," Jun teased, although Aiba liked to think that the grin he got from Jun now was more than a little impressed.

"So what do you do?" Aiba asked as he hauled his suspenders up over his shoulders and smoothed the straps before beginning the hunt for his tie. Glancing at his watch he saw that there was still about 20 minutes left to his lunch break, meaning he could probably grab a coffee and a convenience store snack on his way back to work if he timed it right.

"Well, I'm not a brainiac like you," Jun snorted as he turned to the matter of gathering his own clothing. "I'm afraid I am just a pretty face." When Aiba looked to Jun in confusion, Jun elaborated. "I'm an actor. Mostly stage work, but I've been trying more and more to get into television."

"Ehhh?? Really? Would I have seen you in anything?" Aiba asked in fascination.

"Probably not," Jun snorted and shook his head. Although in doing so he paused, sucking on his bottom lip hesitantly.

"Hm? What?" Aiba asked.

Jun shook his head again, but finally released his bottom lip with a sigh.

"Well... I did do an ad for mascara a few years ago. I had longer hair then and they styled it in this really interesting way. There were billboards all over the place and the campaign actually won some awards."

"That sounds amazing!" Aiba nodded, trying to think if he'd ever seen such a thing. To be honest, nothing came to mind. He didn't pay much attention to cosmetic advertisements, but he was pretty sure he would have noticed one with a man that looked like Jun in them.

"I'm surprised you didn't get offers for TV work after exposure like that," Aiba hummed as he sat down to pull on his socks.

Jun hummed in acknowledgment of Aiba's comment, but didn't seem keen on discussing the matter. Aiba knew what it could be like for your career not to be moving in the way that you wanted it to, so he decided to switch gears.

"Hey, what are you doing this weekend?" Aiba asked as he finally pulled his jacket from the back of the chair he'd hung it on earlier, checking his pockets to make sure he had his wallet and security badge for work.

"Nothing important, I don't think," Jun shrugged, standing to pull his patent leather belt through the loops of his fashionable pants. Aiba was starting to wonder why he'd never noticed before that Jun was clearly someone who worked in an industry where appearances mattered.

"There's a club opening up in Roppongi, I was thinking maybe some dancing and drinking," Aiba grinned, thrusting his hips comically.

Jun snorted, rolling his eyes. Aiba caught the way he was still smiling even as he ducked his head down to check his pockets.

"Sounds good," Jun nodded, keeping his eyes focused on his jacket. "And then maybe afterward we could go back to my place."

When Jun finally looked up it was just in time to catch his breath before Aiba's lips sealed over his once more.

Aiba had to skip the coffee and the snack on his way back to the office, but he had a hard time regretting that when he spent the rest of the afternoon remembering what it felt like to have Jun's long legs wrapped about his shoulders as his hands pressed Aiba's face deeper on his cock.

~*~

Panting lightly, Aiba collapsed back against the sheets with a grunt. Curling his hands over his chest he couldn't help giggling as he enjoyed the feeling of afterglow. 

"What's so funny?" Jun asked, raising an impressive eyebrow suspiciously. Aiba had never thought of something like eyebrows as being sexy before, but the feature was so prominent on Jun's face and the man used them with expert expressiveness that it was difficult for him not to appreciate them now.

"Nothing, it's dumb," Aiba said with a shake of his head. Stretching his hands up and over his head, Aiba groaned as he extended through the length of his body. It felt great right up until fingers pressed right into the space between his ribs and caused him to cry out in surprise and snap forward again with involuntary giggles.

When he recovered from the tickle attack, Aiba couldn't help pouting over at Jun.

"That was so mean," he whined, rubbing the sensitive patch of skin gently. All Jun did was smirk.

"What was so funny?" Jun asked again, clearly feeling no remorse for his torture tactics.

"I told you, it was nothing," Aiba said, although he was distracted watching for Jun's hands. He was glad for his caution, too, because as soon as he'd answered Jun had darted out a hand to try and poke him again and Aiba jerked back on the bed a few inches.

"Oh come on," Jun grinned, pushing himself up a bit so he could continue to advance. "Tell me. Tell me, tell me, tell me!"

With each repeated command Jun made another attempted swipe at Aiba's torso and Aiba scooted back another few inches, giggling the entire way as he scrambled across the expanse of the bed.

"Nooooooo!" Aiba whined playfully. He was almost at a point where he was willing to relent, but before he could give in he suddenly reached the end of the mattress.

"Shit," Aiba gasped as he clutched at the sheets for purchase fruitlessly. He was just accepting that he was going to slip and fall straight off the bed when a hand gripped one of his legs behind the knee and his upper arm and hauled him back onto the bed safely.

Laying still for a moment in astonishment, Aiba only required a moment before pushing forward to throw his arms about Jun's shoulders.

"YOU SAVED ME! Thank yoooou!"

The angle was awkward, though, and Aiba's body was honestly too far away from Jun's to hug comfortably. He let it go but kept his hands on Jun's arms, squeeze the muscles in fascination. Jun's face contorted in a cross between a grimace and a grin as he watched Aiba examine his body.

"That was so cool! How'd you get so strong?? You don't look like the type to be so strong," Aiba asked as he tried his best to figure out if Jun's arms and chest appeared any more muscular than his own. He'd fallen down on the job of going to the gym of late, but Jun's physique didn't reveal any obvious signs of better upkeep. (Well, maybe a little. Jun did tend to eat better than Aiba cared to, but it probably wasn't enough to make a huge difference. Right?)

For his part Jun laughed and shook his head, pulling back a little from Aiba's grip to sit more comfortably on the bed. Aiba couldn't help grinning as he noticed a slight tinge of pink to the tops of his cheeks, but he decided not to pursue flirtatious teasing for the moment in favor of listening to the answers for his questions.

"I've always been strong in the kind of scrappy, wiry sort of way," Jun said with a shrug of his shoulders. "But a year or two ago I started training for a role as a boxer. There was a lot of upper body stuff I had to concentrate on for a while in preparation, and I felt like my chest got broader and my arms were definitely stronger." Jun shifted to hold up one arm, using his hand to give a visual emphasis for how much bigger around his biceps had apparently been at one point in time. "This is kind of all left-over from that, I guess."

Aiba hummed and nodded his head sagely.

"So you got to play a boxer, huh?" he asked with a grin. "Does that mean if we go out and someone attacks you know how to defend my honor?"

Jun laughed loud and hard, nearly falling over with the force of it. He clapped as he shook his head, doing his best to get himself under control enough to answer.

"No, I'd ditch you in a heartbeat," Jun answered with a smirk, but Aiba grinned in response. He knew that couldn't possibly be true!

"Besides," Jun continued as he seemed to recover fully. "You're a man, don't you want to be able to protect yourself?"

"Nuh uh!" Aiba said without hesitation, bursting into giggles along with Jun this time around. "I'm a man alright, but I'm no good at hurting people. If we got cornered by someone I'd probably try to talk our way out of it."

"Is that so?" Jun asked, seemingly surprised by the response. Aiba couldn't help blushing, fidgeting a little as he prepared to defend his masculinity with a clarification. Before he could pull the right words together, though, Jun continued his thoughts.

"That's good, though. It's its own kind of strength to stay out of fights, probably. I've always been kind of a more direct person, which isn't always the best method of dealing with things."

"Maybe not always, but it can definitely be useful. I wish I was better at being direct!" Aiba admitted with a laugh.

"I guess we make a good pair then, right? You can do the talking and nice-making and if that fails then I'll just punch people." Jun put up his fists and mimed landing a blow. He grinned wide when Aiba laughed hard and bowed his head so low that it nearly touched the mattress.

~*~

Beside his glass Aiba's phone buzzed with a message. Glancing at it curiously, Aiba grinned as he picked it up to answer without thinking. Across the table, Nino stared over the top of his menu.

"Oh no," Nino said gravely, shutting his menu with a frown.

Looking up in confusion, Aiba didn't catch on immediately. He wondered if maybe there was something wrong with the menu, but then he noticed that Nino was frowning in his direction. After looking over his shoulder and finding nothing out of the ordinary, Aiba realized Nino was frowning at _him_.

"What?"

"Aiba-chan," Nino sighed, shaking his head. "Aiba-chan, you know better."

Aiba's eyes widened in alarm. Nino could be weird, but usually the joke was a little easier to pick up on.

"Who was that you were messaging?" Nino asked, nodding at Aiba's phone.

Aiba looked to his phone and felt his ears burn.

"MatsuJun," he answered, locking his phone's screen without finishing the reply he'd started.

"'MatsuJun'," Nino repeated in a tone that made Aiba cringe. "What happened to 'we're just fucking around'?"

Aiba grimaced at Nino's bluntness, especially as a server passed by their table. Shifting in his seat uncomfortably, Aiba shrugged.

"We are just fucking around," Aiba insisted, though he kept his tone much lower. "We're also sort of... becoming friends. There's nothing wrong with being friends, right?"

"You realize that normal people don't sleep with their friends, right?" Nino asked pointedly.

Aiba suddenly couldn't shake the feeling that he was on trial.

"Why're you being such a dick about this?" Aiba couldn't help frowning at Nino deeply.

Nino remained silent for a moment, and Aiba was certain it was because he was doing his best to select his words carefully. What Aiba couldn't tell was whether or not he appreciated his usually brusque friend's attempt at tact, or resented the patronization. In either event, Aiba decided to hold his tongue until Nino answered his question.

"When was the last time you dated someone for real?" Nino asked, and Aiba was so taken aback by the question that he didn't even have time to be annoyed with the fact that it wasn't an answer to his own.

"I dunno. College, maybe?" Aiba answered, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "Why?"

"There's nothing wrong with having a 'sex friend' so long as it's mostly about the sex. It's simple, it's fun, it's relaxing. But problems happen when you really start to like them," Nino said in a tone so serious that Aiba was powerless to do anything but listen. "The ugly truth 'friends with benefits' is that if you're actually friends, if you actually care about one another, and get along, and share an emotional bond and trust, _and_ you're having sex, then you're not _just_ friends. If you can find someone like that, it's amazing, but only if that's what they feel about you too."

"What does that have to do with the last time I dated anyone seriously?" Aiba asked.

"The longer we go without having that kind of connection with someone the easier it can be to let ourselves settle for something less than we deserve," Nino said darkly, and Aiba was pulled away from his own discomfort by concern for his friend. Nino was quiet for a moment before looking up and meeting Aiba's gaze.

"Look, you're an adult. If you want to keep fucking this guy, keep fucking him. But don't sell yourself short. If what you want is more than just fucking, then you owe it to yourself to find someone willing to give that to you."

In theory what Nino said came off as sound advice. In reality, Aiba knew that the implication was that Jun likely wasn't going to be that same person, and if that was the case Aiba was going to have to put a stop to liking him before things got any deeper.

~*~

While Aiba could appreciate Nino's concerns, and could even acknowledge that there was a slightly legitimate reason to be concerned, he mostly didn't want to deal with it. In acknowledging those concerns he had to admit that the direction things were going with Jun was dangerous and had to be stopped, and if he did that... Well. The honest truth was that Aiba was enjoying pretending too much.

Aiba gave an impassioned sob as he came, his body tensing around Jun's cock as his hands gripped Jun's shoulders. He could feel the shower spray beating against Jun's back, keeping the hot skin wet and slick. Taking a moment to catch his breath, Aiba squeezed Jun's shoulder affectionately, impressed and grateful for the fact that he seemed to have returned to his boxer-build gym routine. When he felt he was capable of standing, Aiba nudged Jun gently and braced himself for the feeling of their bodies finally separating.

"Do you still need something?" Aiba asked his hands lingering on Jun's hips as he rested his chin lazily on Jun's shoulder. Jun's laugh rumbled deep in his chest and Aiba enjoyed feeling it reverberate through his skin.

"No, I'm good," Jun said as he glanced over his shoulder, nipping at Aiba's jaw. "It was really hot while you were screaming for it so I couldn't really help myself." Aiba grinned, not the least bit ashamed of his volume. He shifted so that Jun could dispose of his condom in the trashcan beside Aiba's toilet, moving instead to soak his hair in the hot water that remained.

As Jun returned behind Aiba he slid his hands around Aiba's waist, tracing his fingers up and down his body gently. Aiba sighed at the attention and leaned back against Jun's chest, enjoying the attention. Aiba always loved the way Jun would touch him like this after sex, still appreciative and reverent—almost affectionate. It was getting to a point where this part was what Aiba looked forward to almost more than the sex.

 _Which is part of the problem_ , Aiba heard his conscious say, sounding suspiciously like Nino. Ignoring the voice, however, Aiba instead turned in Jun's hold and looped his arms about Jun's neck.

"What're you doing tomorrow?" Aiba asked, running his fingers through Jun's wet hair absently.

Jun hummed meditatively, closing his eyes and tipping his head back so Aiba could massage his scalp. It was everything in Aiba's power not to lean forward and kiss the man's throat as it was bared, but he managed to restrain himself admirably.

"Nothing, actually. It's one of my rare days off. At least until the late evening, I have some business dinners with my agent and manager," Jun said.

"That's not too bad," Aiba noted, continuing to rub small circles into Jun's scalp with his fingers. His heart gave a heavy _thud_ in his chest as an idea came to him and forced its way to his mouth before he could second guess himself.

"So it's already pretty late. Since you don't have to be anywhere early, do you want to just crash here?"

Aiba hadn't had any realistic hope that his scalp massage would distract Jun enough to lure him into staying the night, but he still felt his heart stop when Jun's hands stilled on his body. For several long seconds Aiba said nothing, forcing himself to keep breathing and moving his fingers as though the proposal were merely a matter of casual convenience. Although as more time passed, he couldn't help starting to panic.

"If you want to, I mean. You definitely don't have to if—"

"Alright," Jun said, finally opening his eyes.

"Alright?" Aiba repeated in disbelief.

Jun nodded but kept his gaze along Aiba's chest as his hands resumed their shifting, reaching behind Aiba for the body wash and a loofah.

"Yeah, alright. I'm beat anyway and it's a long trip home. So if you're offering to let me stay, then... Alright. Now turn around if you want me to wash your back, or else I'm just going to wash myself and then you're on your own." 

Aiba bit his lip tightly against a smile that threatened to explode across his face.

"Alright," he nodded, turning in the spray so Jun could start scrubbing his back and doing his best to contain his surprise and his happiness at such a simple gesture as Jun's willingness to sleep over.

When Aiba awoke the next morning he realized that he and Jun hadn't slept together since the first night they'd met. It was interesting to wake up this time around, his body still more familiar with waking at a regular time than Jun's. Aiba shifted so that he could rest his head on the pillow they'd ended up sharing, watching Jun's face as he slept. Part of Aiba had expected to see the same hard lines he'd seen that first morning, but instead Jun's features were soft and peaceful.

Aiba hoped that meant Jun felt comfortable, and maybe deep down even happy.

~*~

At some point staying the night at each other's places became a foregone conclusion. After that it was the assumption of breakfast in the morning, or dinner in the evening. They didn't spend every weekend together, but more often than not Aiba knew when he asked if Jun had plans that if the answer was 'no' then it would mean time together.

The interesting part was when it stopped being just fucking. They got together with the intention for an afternoon round, but Jun had been up all night doing a shoot for a television drama pilot and had fallen asleep by the time Aiba'd gotten to the hotel. Rather than wake him up, Aiba had elected to take a nap, waking up for a chat before going back to work. Then there was the night they'd gone dancing and drinking only to end up splayed out on the floor of Aiba's living room talking about their favorite heroes. Jun's ended up being characters from books Aiba'd never read, and Aiba's always ended up being from comics Jun was only passingly familiar with. The conversation should have been boring, what with the lack of cross over, but Aiba had loved listening to Jun passionately discuss all of the reasons why his favorite characters were his favorites, what traits he admired in them, how they dealt with obstacles and struggles. There was a lot of passion and a lot of thought behind most of Jun's opinions, Aiba was finding, and it was always fascinating to listen to.

As they drifted off to sleep, Aiba was just sober enough to drag the one blanket down from his couch to throw over them, curling up as close to Jun's body as he dared. He was delighted the next morning to find that Jun hadn't pulled away from him in the night.

~*~

Aiba dug a little deeper into the drawer, grimacing as he kept coming up with bunches of fabric but no foil packaging. Pulling back, he glanced into the empty condom box again, hoping on the off chance that maybe there was still one there he'd just missed.

"What's the hold up?" Jun asked. Normally Aiba would joke about his friend's impatience, but this time around he couldn't help warmth burning along his neck in embarrassment.

Pulling himself back up onto the bed, Aiba held out the condom box apologetically. It wasn't the worst thing that could have happened when it came to an inconvenient snag in sexy plans, but it still made him feel like a bad host. As Jun took the box without a word, Aiba almost laughed at the flash of immediate frustration on the strong features but refrained.

"It's alright," Aiba said, with a shrug as his mind quickly started working out ways to turn this around. "How about I just—"

Aiba's alternate suggestion and his breath caught in his throat as Jun slid a long, pale leg across his lap and pulled himself up to straddle Aiba's hips. Aiba's hands went to Jun's waist to balance him, his eyes closing as Jun captured his lips in a hot, hard kiss. He moaned into Jun's mouth as he felt fingers wrap around his cock, getting him slick with lube. His lungs were burning and his pulse was racing as they finally broke for air, the embarrassed flush from earlier mingling with renewed arousal.

"Masaki," Jun murmured, voice low and hot, curling in Aiba's belly as though it were capable of physically entering his body. Opening his eyes, Aiba's vision took a moment to focus on the face above him.

Jun shifted his body, causing Aiba to sharply suck in a breath as he pressed in closely enough that the head of Aiba's cock grazed Jun's prepared entrance. Once in place, Jun remained very still, looking down at Aiba questioningly.

A shiver rippled through Aiba's body as he suddenly realized what Jun was doing, what he was being offered. His grip around Jun's waist slid down to his hips, tightening with the effort of restraining himself as he tried to clear the haze and think. There were a million reasons not to go forward. Penetrative sex was great, but there wasn't really any reason they couldn't plausibly wait until they were better equipped. At the same time, Jun was here, prepared, offering Aiba an opportunity he'd only ever imagined during late nights when he let himself pretend that there was more going on between them than just the sex.

As seconds passed, Aiba was acutely aware of his silence and the building nervousness and excitement between them. Looking up and into Jun's eyes searchingly, Aiba had hoped that maybe he could find some indication of whether or not continuing was the right or wrong option. All he found there were wet, swollen lips; cheeks streaked in pink and red; eyes so dark with arousal they appeared black; and a neutral, open expression leaving the decision for how to proceed solely up to Aiba.

Pushing aside reservations and internal critiques, Aiba finally released the breath he'd been unconsciously holding and nodded. The way Jun's lips tugged into a grin at the confirmation caused Aiba's heart to melt, a whimper escaping him involuntarily as he tried to keep himself in check. This wasn't how he'd ever imagined this moment coming (in truth, he'd always told himself it wouldn't happen), but since it was here he was going to do his best not to mess it up. Aiba tried to cover for his completely uncool reaction with a kiss, his hands releasing their grip on Jun's hips to slip around his waist and up his back. He was grateful that as Jun kissed him back Aiba could still feel the pull of Jun's smile in his lips.

They broke for air and shifted, the pair of them working until the angle was right; Aiba holding himself with one hand and steadying Jun's hips with the other. Jun balanced one hand on Aiba's shoulder and Aiba swore softly as Jun's nails curled into his skin in time with the sensation of pressing into the tight heat of Jun's body. They went a little slow at the start, but the fact was that they'd been doing this often enough now that their bodies were used to one another. Once Jun was seated in Aiba's lap he pressed his hips down even further, pulling a moan from both of them simultaneously. Aiba couldn't help puffing a few giggles across Jun's neck, kissing along his throat as his hands began to travel along Jun's body.

Jun shifted his weight, getting mostly on his knees to begin lifting and dropping his hips in progressively quicker jerks. Aiba looked up to watch Jun's face, eyes closed and head tipped back as he rode Aiba desperately. Occasionally Aiba would pull Jun down hard by his hips, causing Jun to choke on a gasp, lips parting as he started to pant and sweat formed along his body from the effort of continuing to move. After some time of cycling between frantic bouncing and languid body rolls, Jun's pace steadily began to slow, his chest rising and falling in heavy breaths.

"Here," Aiba said, and it was Jun's only warning before Aiba's arms closed around his body to support him as Aiba pushed up and forward.

"Fuck!" Jun gasped, clutching at Aiba tightly as he landed on the bed on his back, his legs kicking out as they slipped out from under his own weight. Jun's mouth opened, likely about to growl out a reprimand for Aiba not communicating his intentions properly, but as Aiba thrust back into his body in one sharp, hard strike all that came out was another, " _FUCK!_ "

Aiba hadn't meant to take Jun by surprise like that, but it was difficult to regret it with the way Jun's entire body gripped him desperately. Once he was inside again, Aiba actually stopped to catch his breath, making a few more minor adjustments. Beneath him Jun shifted, raising his knees and wrapping a leg over Aiba's waist. As they both got comfortable again, their heavy panting slowed and they caught one another's gaze.

Aiba hadn't been purposefully avoiding eye-contact this entire time, but he had to admit that it had been making this easier. He wasn't very good at hiding his feelings, least of all when he had to look someone in the eye. As Jun's eyes seemed to focus and he seemed to catch his breath his expression quieted in a way that made Aiba nervous. He couldn't help the pounding of his heart, wondering (both in terror and hope) whether or not he'd finally been found out. Usually Jun could be pushy, or playful, or impatient, would encourage continued movement if Aiba ever got distracted from the task at hand. As with earlier, however, Jun seemed determined to leave the course of action to Aiba.

Wetting his lips with his tongue unconsciously, Aiba shifted his hands to slide up Jun's sides and arms. He watched Jun's expression carefully as he closed his fingers around Jun's wrists, shifting their hands up and above their heads on the bed. With no sign of complaint or resistance, Aiba rolled down the length of his spine in a sharp, deep thrust which pushed Jun's body into the bed. He was rewarded with a gasp, Jun's lashes fluttering as he groaned loudly, hands balling into fists over his head. When Jun opened his eyes to look at Aiba again, Aiba gave another thrust, and then another, and then another.

The rhythm was not fast, but it was hard and deep, and with every shift of his own weight forward into Jun's body Aiba felt himself getting closer. He wanted nothing more than to curl his fingers through Jun's, hold his hands tightly as their bodies joined and kiss him breathless. Aiba knew that... That would definitely be too much. If he held Jun like that right now, he wouldn't be able to let go.

Feeling a sting in his nose, Aiba was the one to finally break eye-contact. Dropping his head to Jun's chest, Aiba busied himself with kissing, licking, and nipping along Jun's skin as he held on tightly and did his best to finish fast and hard. Although as he got closer he realized that they hadn't really discussed what he was supposed to do at the end. Aiba was struggling to get his words together to ask as Jun gasped and tightened around him.

Aiba's balls tightened and the gave a guttural moan as his hips snapped against Jun's ass, spilling inside of Jun's body. He released his grip on Jun's hands, immediately pushing himself up on shaking arms as his body stilled for a moment with the effort of finishing his orgasm.

"Sorry," he gasped, face burning in embarrassment yet again. 

"It's fine," Jun grunted, although when Aiba opened his eyes he could see the passing evidence of a grimace in the crease of Jun's brow.

He wasn't doing a great job of not messing this up so far. Damn it.

Leaning down, Aiba kissed along Jun's jaw and neck. Withdrawing from Jun's body and gently pressing his legs down to the bed to relax, Aiba shifted downward. His fingers reached Jun's erection first, and while he paused there to give Jun a few tugs, Aiba's hand continued to move as his mouth arrived to pick up the slack.

"Masaki, you don't ha—ahhh," Jun started to say but was cut off with a combination of moan and sigh, gasping as Aiba's fingers replaced his cock inside of Jun's body to finish the job.

Jun's hands came down to Aiba's head, fingers curling in his hair. Aiba acknowledged them with a muffled moan around Jun's cock but otherwise focused on what he was doing. Jun had gone above and beyond for him tonight, Aiba wasn't about to have him finish with just a hand job. He changed the angle of his wrist and curled his fingers repeatedly, at the same time using his tongue to drag up the underside of Jun's cock. Jun sputtered a half-curse, his back starting to arch off of the bed. Taking that as a good sign, Aiba forged ahead, bobbing along Jun's length and fucking him with his fingers until he felt the tension snap.

Aiba stayed on Jun's shaft and swallowed. Jun relaxed back to the mattress as he released a held breath loudly, and Aiba noted with a little bit of pride that he could feel the way Jun's thighs were still trembling as he finally sat up.

Jun's hands released their grip on Aiba's hair, fingertips dragging across Aiba's cheeks and down his neck before Jun finally pulled them back to his own chest. For the moment Jun's eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling heavily as he sucked in shallow breaths of air, and Aiba took the opportunity to enjoy the sight. Jun was always attractive, but there were times when he crossed from being good looking to simply stunning. Dark hair was curling around his ears and neck, swiped back out of his face by long fingers, which tilted his head back to expose an equally long throat. Aiba let his thumbs rub musing circles where his hands rested along Jun's thighs but resisted the urge to touch any more than that for the moment. He was so caught up in admiring Jun reveling in his afterglow that at first Aiba didn't notice when Jun's eyes opened.

They looked at one another silently for a heartbeat, then another, and finally Aiba blinked and looked away. He gave a soft laugh, trying to pretend the tension in the air didn't exist as he leaned forward and slid onto his side on the mattress next to Jun.

"That was..." Aiba started, trying to find a word that was casual without being minimizing. Before he could land on one, however, Jun nodded vigorously, eyes closing again as he continued to breathe slow and deep.

Aiba decided to let Jun have his recovery time and rested his own head on his arm. As his body began to cool down, Aiba played through some of what had just happened. The sensation of being inside of Jun, the brush of skin on skin, the feeling of electricity along every place they touched... It was going to be a good memory for Aiba, even if its importance was only ever going to be known to him alone.

"I'll take the first shower," Jun mumbled softly, and while Aiba roused enough to open one eye and nod, he took advantage of the rest he was being given.

The mattress shifted, dipping and rising as Jun's weight moved across and then left the bed. Aiba could hear the bathroom door close and the shower come to life, enjoying the familiarity of the sound. Even if he would have liked to have held Jun for a bit afterward, there was something comforting about this process as well.

The creeping chill of winter air finally pulled him back from sleep after a time. Lifting his head groggily, Aiba rubbed at his face and eyes to try and increase his alertness but found it difficult as the room was significantly darker than it had been when he'd dozed off. Pulling himself up and out of bed, Aiba managed not to stumble as he padded his way to the bathroom where he found the shower empty. Flipping on the lights, he was leisurely about scrubbing down his body and his hair, doing his best to let the warm water revive him. As he bathed he realized that it'd been a while since lunch, so he was starting to wonder what they ought to have for dinner. There was some stuff in the kitchen to cook with, but Aiba wasn't feeling very in the mood to use that much energy, and he'd be impressed if Jun was any better off.

Drying himself, Aiba grabbed his robe from the back of the door and wrapped it about his body tightly.

"Hey, how does Thai food sound for dinner?" Aiba asked as he ventured back into the bedroom to find his phone. Flipping through the various notifications he'd been ignoring for the past few hours, it was a moment before he realized that he hadn't gotten a response.

Finally looking up, Aiba noticed that Jun wasn't in bed. Frowning a bit, Aiba laughed at his own obliviousness before making his way out into the rest of the apartment. He wondered if maybe Jun had more energy than Aiba'd given him credit for after such vigorous fucking, in which case he'd be grateful for some delicious dinner served _a la_ Jun. The kitchen, however, was as dark and cold as the bedroom; no warm scents or sounds of sizzling or boiling ingredients, no staccato tap of knife on cutting board. Frowning, Aiba turned to survey the rest of his apartment.

Given the fact that Aiba's apartment was very small, it was usually pretty obvious whether or not someone was in it. Even so, it didn't click in his head that Jun was gone until he got to the genkan and saw that the stylish designer shoes were missing from their place next to Aiba's brightly colored sneakers.

~*~

At first Aiba tried his best to talk himself out of worst case scenario thinking. Maybe Jun had gotten a call and had to go. Maybe he hadn't intended to stay the night to begin with. After all, he didn't always sleep over, right? Except as Aiba thought about things more he realized he would have heard a phone call, Jun would have probably said goodbye to him. And if Jun hadn't intended to spend the night, why had he brought the bag he usually carried? Sure, they didn't always spend the night together, but Aiba was having difficulty recalling the last time they hadn't slept together after sex.

He kept reminding himself that his relationship to Jun was casual. Technically, they didn't owe each other anything. If Jun decided to get up and leave without saying goodbye, it was a little rude, but it wasn't as though it was completely out of line. The more Aiba tried to remind himself of this, however, the more it hurt. The sneaking away while he slept, after such a close moment... It felt like a sharp rejection, which was all the more painful since Jun had been the one who had offered the opportunity to begin with.

Aiba lasted less than a day before he ended up sending Jun a message. It was short so that it didn't come off as too desperate and needy (despite the fact that Aiba was feeling exactly that), just asked how Jun's day was going. Aiba then tucked his phone into his pocket and tried to will himself not to pull it out unless or until he felt it buzz. As the day went on, however, he kept wondering if maybe he missed a message, if he was distracted and didn't feel anything. Eventually he took his phone out of his pocket and put it on his work bench, glancing at it every so often as he prepared sample slides for examination.

At the end of his work day, Aiba started to wonder if maybe his message hadn't gotten sent. Sometimes the cellular service was off in the lab, interrupted by equipment and security measures which could cause a delay or disruption in signal sending and receiving. Although as he power-walked his way out of the building and onto the street at the end of his shift, he was aware of an alternative and more likely hypothesis: he was simply being ignored.

Pushing away the cresting wave of anxiety that came with that thought, however, Aiba elected to try calling Jun instead. As the phone rang his heart began to pound and Aiba suddenly wasn't sure if he wanted Jun to pick up or not. What if he did and then he told Aiba that things were over? What if Aiba was blowing things completely out of proportion and that ended up causing Jun to break things off? Aiba's mind began to spiral into a thousand different scenarios where completing this phone call could go horribly wrong.

Aiba almost dropped his phone when it beeped loudly and informed him that he could leave a message.

"Er, hi, MatsuJun! It's Aiba Masaki! Which I'm sure you guessed from my voice," Aiba laughed shakily, running his free hand through his hair. What the hell was he even doing?

"I was just calling because, um... Well, I don't know if you've got time this week. If you want to hang out, though, just... Let me know," Aiba said, feeling himself deflate even as the words left his mouth. The phrases were about as disinterested and light as he could make them, but secretly he wanted nothing more than to just hear from Jun. Hear that he hadn't messed things up, that things were okay, that they were still friends at the very least.

Reminding himself that it'd been one single day and that he was an adult and Jun was an adult and they both had adult lives, Aiba ended his message and stuffed his phone back into his pocket. Aiba knew he could be really emotional sometimes, but he also knew that there were limitations to reasonable behavior. As much as he would have liked immediate gratification for his anxieties, he was just going to have to deal. Jun was a good guy and a good friend, he probably had some kind of reason for leaving and not contacting Aiba. They'd gone more than a day without talking before, there was no reason why they shouldn't be able to manage it now.

Although as the end of the week approached and Aiba had yet to receive a text, email, or call, his resolve began to crumble. 

"Hey," Nino said, waving a hand in front of Aiba's blank stare in an attempt to get his attention. Aiba sat up quickly, adjusting his glasses so he could focus on his friend's face properly.

"What's up?" Aiba asked, looking about for a clipboard or specimen he was supposed to accept custody of.

"Nothing, I was just going to ask what's up with you," Nino said as he slid onto a stool beside Aiba. "You seem off."

Aiba considered trying to lie, even going so far as to give Nino a reassuring smile. He couldn't hold the expression as Nino simply looked at him with open sympathy and concern. Opening his mouth and shutting it a few times, Aiba gave a tired laugh and pulled his glasses from his face so he could massage the bridge of his nose.

"I fucked up," he admitted, still managing to smile even as tears started prickling at his eyes. Sniffling preemptively, Aiba looked up at Nino and shrugged, laughing helplessly.

Frowning deeply, Nino slipped from his stool and tugged Aiba forward for a hug.

~*~

Aiba managed not to break down completely at work, but that was really only thanks to Nino. His friend didn't try to get any details out of him immediately, instead allowing Aiba enough time to compose himself before suggesting they get drinks together afterward. While normally Aiba wasn't in the habit of drowning his feelings in alcohol, the idea of having some beers with his friend after a hard week was both relaxing and comforting, and exactly what Aiba needed.

They skipped the bars and pubs and instead purchased large quantities of beer and salty snacks on their way back to Nino's apartment.

"I've also got some nasty cup noodles if we get drunk enough and hungry enough," Nino said as he pushed open the door to his tidy but tiny apartment. They made their way to the single room, sitting on the floor and pulling out a small table to drop their purchases on.

"Maybe," Aiba nodded, managing to give a short giggle at the offer even though he didn't feel very hungry at the moment. He hadn't eaten a real meal all day, so he knew he should put something into his body, but for the time being he just wasn't in the mood. Hopefully beer would help with that.

Practically reading his mind, Nino cracked open the first can of beer and poured its contents into two glasses, passing the first to Aiba.

"Cheers," Nino nodded, clinking his glass against Aiba's gently before drinking deeply.

Aiba followed suit, draining his glass completely. To his credit, Nino didn't bat an eye. He simply refilled Aiba's glass and nodded, passing over their snacks when asked before fishing out the remote for his old TV and flipping it to a baseball game. Despite the television filling the room with background noise, Nino kept his attention on Aiba.

"I'm... I'll be alright," Aiba said, answering the question Nino was kindly refraining from asking.

Nino continued to watch him, but it didn't feel scrutinizing or calculating. Nino was someone who cared about him, and right now Aiba appreciated that.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Nino finally asked, sipping from his beer.

Aiba chewed his bottom lip in consideration.

What was there to really talk about? Things had started out fine, and then they ended. It happened all of the time to everyone, didn't it? Aiba's case wasn't even that critical, since he and Jun had never been officially dating. So it didn't really count as a breakup, did it? And if it wasn't a breakup, then what right did Aiba have to feel hurt? Honestly, the more he thought about it, the more Aiba felt that he really only had himself to blame for his anguish.

Finishing his second glass of beer hastily, Aiba sputtered a little but managed not to dribble across his front. He did accept the hand towel Nino offered him, however, blotting at his face even as he shook his head.

"No, it's... I'll be alright," Aiba insisted, although he allowed Nino to fill his glass a second time.

Around the eighth refill, Aiba was less sure about being alright.

"He's not a bad guy," Aiba tried to assure Nino, who had been trying to keep pace with him but was fading fast. "He's really, he's not. Grumpy sometimes, and ssssso, so, ugh, defensive. But, but, but... But then he's, like... he's so warm. Not jus' physically, but, like, his smile... You know?"

Nino sucked in a deep breath and held it for a moment before releasing an acidic belch and shaking his head.

"No," he said honestly and yawned.

"Oh... Well, I mean..." Aiba pouted at his beer and sighed. As he watched the bubbles in the foam swirl and fizz, his moodiness started to meld (not for the first time this evening) to annoyance and then anger. Gripping his glass tightly, Aiba sucked down the remainder of his glass before holding it out for another refill.

"But he's also a complete asshole! I mean, yeah, we said nothing serious, but like... Who says that and then does that??? Who?" Aiba demanded, his face growing hot from more than just the booze.

"I don't know what we're talking about," Nino commented, but refilled Aiba's glass dutifully.

Aiba rubbed his face tiredly and listed to the side. Looking up, Aiba saw Nino and his bottom lip began to quiver.

"Nino," Aiba said, crawling around the small table to try and pull his friend into a hug.

"Fuck, Aiba, watch it!" Nino gasped as he was forced to shove his own beer onto the table hastily to avoid having it spilled in his lap.

"Nino, thank you! Thank you for being a good friend to me, Nino. You're the best friend," Aiba sniffled, grateful when Nino's arms finally wrapped around him in return.

While Aiba hadn't wanted to cry, it honestly felt good to be able to do so. Nino let him do it, petting his hair and patiently answering Aiba's incoherent stutters. Once he was finally able to draw deep, even breaths, Aiba kept his eyes closed and rested his head against Nino's chest.

"I'm going to get you some water, alright?" Nino offered softly. Aiba nodded his head, trying to sniffle again but instead snorting grossly as his stuffed nose refused to let anything pass.

Sitting up, Aiba wiped his face on his wrist, doing his best to keep awake and breathing. He was light-headed and a little dizzy, but it was mostly the result of crying and not drinking (he was pretty sure). Water sounded good but he also sort of wanted fresh air, and maybe a nap. As Aiba started fumbling through his pockets in search of a handkerchief to clean himself up with, his hands happened upon his phone. Closing his eyes tightly he braced himself for a blank screen before finally checking it.

Sure enough, no new messages. No missed calls.

Suddenly the anger from earlier resurfaced, although far less forceful. Unlocking his phone, Aiba's eyes started to sting again even as he typed out his simple, upset sentence. His thumb hovered over the cancel button, knowing that he'd likely regret sending anything once he sobered up. To his left Nino stubbed his toe, distracting Aiba enough that he didn't notice his thumb graze the screen before he locked it, tucking the device back into his pants. Accepting the glass of water offered him, Aiba downed it gratefully, allowing Nino to coax some food into him before putting him to bed for the night.

Aiba was out cold before he could feel his phone buzz against his hip with the arrival of a new message.

~*~

The following morning Aiba managed to find his way home, but only after helping Nino tidy his small space. He appreciated more than anything that Nino hadn't taken the opportunity to say 'I told you so'. Nino wasn't really the type to do that to him, but Aiba had been beating himself up so much about how he should have seen this all coming that he'd honestly been afraid to hear it from Nino, too. Beer and bad noodles and baseball had been exactly what he'd needed, and Aiba was so grateful to have a friend in his life who could provide those things.

Once home Aiba showered and drank some more water before falling into bed again. There were likely things he could be doing with his day, but he wasn't really feeling up to any of them. Just as he'd needed to take the evening to be sad and angry last night, he needed a day to just not feel anything. Unfortunately, his phone didn't seem to be in on the plan.

Hearing the buzzing on his nightstand, Aiba didn't even open his eyes when he reached out to pick it up. When he finally did look at his phone he dropped it as though he'd been burned, even yelping in surprise as the delicate object clattered loudly against the floor beside his bed. Aiba thought about leaving it there for a moment, but as his heartbeat came under control he regained a little bit of reason and reached down to pick up his phone again.

Unlocking the screen, Aiba read through the most recent messages carefully, starting with the one he'd apparently sent last night.

**Text Message**  
Yesterday 22:45  
_You are a fucking asshole._  
Yesterday 23:16  
_I deserve that._

Aiba's heart gave a sharp pound as he read the first exchange. No defensiveness, no excuses. But what Jun had said wasn't an apology, either.

Today 10:02  
_Do you have time tonight?_

Aiba forced himself to breath out slowly. The answer was yes, he had time. His first response wasn't even anger or resentment, although the anger came when he realized that his first response was actually excitement. How could he be excited to _finally_ hear from someone he should have heard from days ago? For as mad as he was trying to make himself, however, Aiba was honestly just glad to have finally gotten a response.

Today 10:08  
_I should say no._  
Today 10:09  
_Probably.  
But I'm hoping you'll say yes._

"Fuck you," Aiba swore out loud, very nearly throwing his phone across the room.

It was a bad idea. It was a stupid, bad, terrible idea. Then again, so was every decision he seemed to make when it came to Jun. Who was Aiba to ruin a perfect score?

If he was going to see Jun again it was to set him straight, Aiba decided. Which really meant breaking things off, he was pretty sure, but it needed doing. Aiba couldn't risk having Jun call him up sometime later and expecting a casual afternoon lay with no fallout. Especially because Aiba didn't have faith that he'd remember how much everything hurt right now, and so the likelihood he'd talk himself into having fun 'one last time' seemed dangerously high.

Shaking out his limbs, Aiba did his best not to fidget as he knocked and waited for Jun to come to the door.

Aiba didn't realize until he saw Jun that he'd sort of been hoping that Jun would look as bad as Aiba had been feeling the last few days. Maybe if there was evidence that Jun had been torn up too then they could at least still be friends? But no. No, Jun had to look perfect, like he always did. Stupid, stupid Jun and his stupid Jun-ness.

Removing his shoes in the genkan, Aiba lingered just near the entrance. His stomach gave a violent twist and he wasn't sure if it was from anxiety or the fact that Jun's apartment was filled with the heady aroma of garlic, onion, and tomato sauce simmering in the kitchen.

"Would you like something to drink?" Jun asked, motioning toward the kitchen. "I've got beer, but I also just opened a bottle of wine."

"Wine is fine," Aiba said, trailing Jun at a distance. He honestly didn't want to consume alcohol, but he was starting to feel like this evening was going to be impossible to get through sober.

Jun returned with a stemless glass half full with a bright white wine and handed it over, sipping from a glass of his own. The pair of them stood by the dining table in silence for a long moment as Aiba had difficulty keeping his eyes on Jun.

"I owe you an apology," Jun finally spoke, setting his wine glass down on the table. "I should not have disappeared on you like that. I'm sorry."

Aiba gripped his own glass, keeping his gaze on his drink as he nodded. While it was nice to had hear an admission of wrong doing, sorry wasn't actually what he'd wanted to hear. Then again, he was having trouble narrowing down exactly what it was he _did_ want, so he could hardly hold it against Jun for failing to deliver.

"I'm sorry too," Aiba said with a sigh and rubbed his face. He missed Jun's shocked expression as he shifted to lean against one of the dining room chairs.

"You said from the start that you weren't looking for a relationship, and at first I was fine with that," Aiba said.

"Masaki..."

"Jun," Aiba finally looked up, his eyes pleading with Jun not to interrupt him. "It's okay. What I wanted was fun at first, too. And it was fun! We... we had a lot of fun together."

Aiba swallowed hard, his eyes beginning to burn. He turned to his wine glass and sucked down a good portion of it, doing his best to avoid breaking down. Crying in front of Nino had been okay, crying in front of Jun wasn't the way he wanted to be remembered.

"We can still have fun," Jun said softly, but as he stepped forward Aiba took a long step back.

"Please don't," Aiba grimaced. "I don't want that. Not just that, at least. Not anymore. I want more than just 'fun'."

"I do too, damn it!" Jun said, his voice finally rising.

"Wait," Aiba blinked. He looked up at Jun's face for the first time since arriving, feeling thoroughly confused. "What?"

When he saw he finally had Aiba's direct attention, Jun ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

"I screwed up. I got scared and I ran away. But I wasn't scared because you were coming on too strong. I was scared because I wanted exactly what you were giving me, and I didn't know how to deal with that, because usually that just... goes so horribly wrong for me," Jun gave a mirthless laugh as he explained. "But everybody's got baggage, right? That doesn't mean they've got the right to bolt. And... And I... missed you. While we weren't talking. Not just the sex, but you. At night, in the morning, during the day. I like you a lot more than I thought I was going to, and while that freaks me out... If you like me too, then I want to apologize, and I hope that..."

Jun finally trailed off, his face reaching a critical shade of pink that indicated he'd hit his limit for emotional word-vomit. Aiba probably should have been sympathetic, because he knew what it felt like to be in that anxious, embarrassed, unsure place, but honestly it was just another face he could add to the gallery of Cute MatsuJun Faces. And while Aiba was willing to allow him a moment to collect himself, Aiba wasn't going to let things go unsaid tonight. No assumptions were going to be made, only declarations.

"You hope that... What?" Aiba prompted, letting himself drift a little closer.

Jun seemed to relax a little, glaring at Aiba in that way where his eyes crinkled at the edges, barely hiding a smile. Jun wasn't mad, he was just feeling a lot right now. Aiba could definitely relate.

"Well. For starters I was hoping that you'd stay for dinner," Jun said as he reached out slowly to gently take Aiba's hand. Aiba let him, squeezing Jun's fingers back gently as a smile tugged at his own lips.

Aiba slid his fingers through Jun's to lace them together. He'd missed the soft warmth of these familiar fingers in his own. He'd come here so ready to say goodbye, to never feel a soft touch or hear a soft word from Jun ever again. And maybe he was foolish for caving so easily. It was definitely possible that he was being manipulated, and Aiba probably wouldn't have been able to tell at this point. But for all of the things that he was and all of the things that he'd done, Matsumoto Jun had only ever been honest with Aiba. There was no reason to stop being honest now.

"Is this a date?" Aiba asked, needing the clarification.

They were close enough now that when Jun laughed Aiba could feel his breath ghost across his cheek.

"God, I fucking hope so," Jun attempted to grumble. The effect was ruined by the corners of his lips quirking up into a grin, the likes of which Aiba felt as he finally pressed forward for a soft, firm kiss.


End file.
